Holding Haiti

That Haiti Feeling

2011-08-30T20:07:00.000-07:00

There’s a certain smell to Haiti. A feeling that you get when you step of the plane or out of your comfortable hotel room that tells you “Yep you’re in Haiti”

I think you can get this kind of unique feeling in all kinds of places. When I’m in Florida at my Grandparents there is a certain feeling in the air…and its not just the humidity. Or there is the familiar feeling when you step back in your childhood home for the first time in a long time. There was the chocolate smell I always connected with my summers at camp. Or there’s the feeling I had in college when I stepped out of my dorm to go to class. All these feelings, scents and sounds were completely unique and I could close my eyes go to any of these places and know where I was just by the way I feel but Haiti is be far the strongest.

Stepping out of the plane, or hotel room or apartment you are greeted by the various smells of car exhaust combined with people cooking, the feeling of the hot sun and thick air. The sounds of honking, shouting and laughter. The feeling of the constant busy-ness in Port au Prince. I wish I had the words to explain it better but its just something you feel deep down inside.

I feel it every time I step off the plane. I felt it everyday I was living in Port au Prince when I stepped out of my apartment and I feel it now every time I step out of my hotel room. It’s a feeling that’s comforting that says your home,. Its exhilarating and says “you’re in Haiti!” it’s a feeling that also says “take a deep breath and hold on tight because you’re back in Haiti”

And this trip was no different. I stepped out of the airport, closed my eyes, took a deep breath - I was back!

On deciding my summer vacation...

2011-08-10T12:01:00.000-07:00

At the end of July I went back to Haiti to take a little summer vacation time. In a lot of ways this was a completely selfish visit. I wasn't going back to Haiti for any project or for work or anything. I wasn't going to help anybody but myself I guess. Whenever anyone asked me why I was going to Haiti I just said it was for Vacation...which in a way was true - I did have to take vacation days from work. And I'd get the usual response "Haiti isn't exactly a vacation destination"

Part of me completely understands why people find it funny or weird or offensive to consider a trip to Haiti vacation, or just to be going for yourself, but for me Haiti and my friends there are almost like my home and family. In so many ways going to Haiti to me is no different than visiting my cousins in _____ City, USA. Its not a mission trip, or business trip, its just going to visit people I care about.

Anyway - I hadn't been in Haiti since last November and simply to much time had passed. I had been trying to hold off my return visit to Haiti till the ordination of the seminarians. You might remember before the earthquake I lived at the seminary and attempted to teach English to the seminarians and they have since become good friends of mine. You can remind yourself here or here. I had wanted to be sure I could be there for their ordinations...so I held off on making any visits to ensure I would have enough money for that trip. But rumors of the ordinations being in January quickly turned to rumors of May, to June to July to Late Fall...at which point I had enough. Now this is probably a sign that I need to get a new source, but the thought of not being in Haiti for almost an entire year was too much, and as soon as I heard the news they wouldn't be in July, I began making my plans to go to Haiti ASAP!

Part of this desire to go is this pull that Haiti has over me. For those of you that have been there before you might know what I am talking about. I also think that my experience during the earthquake made this pull inexplicably stronger. Haiti to me is somehow one of the scariest places but also one of the places I feel the most safe. It is a place where I feel the most like an outsider but also one of the few places I feel like I belong. Its a place filled with tragedy but also with a great Joy and one of the places where I am the happiest and most carefree. And I just needed to be there again.

The other reason I decided to finally hop on a plane and go back was because last November my godson(or is it daughter...more on that in a future post) was born and the mom had been waiting to do the baptism so that I could be there. So sometime in Mid-June I just decided that I would go at the end of July and that was it. I called up my friend (the baby's mom) told her I was coming and asked if she could do the baptism while I was there.

I told a few of the seminarians, my old Kreyol teacher and some others that I'd be in Port au Prince and my trip was set...I was just going to go to Port au Prince to go to a Baptism, hangout and just be.

This was the first of my return trips that I hadn't really thought out - hadn't planned too much in advance, and was shocked when the weekend I was leaving came around and I had done almost nothing to prepare - just packed my things the day I was supposed to leave and got on a plane like I was going home for the weekend as easy as that...

My return to blogging

2011-08-09T12:52:00.000-07:00

Hey All - so if anyone is out there and still interested in reading this I have a small announcement - I'm going to start blogging again. This is mostly because as I search for news and blogs to keep up with whats happening in Haiti I get irritated by the way Haiti, Haitians, the church etc is portrayed...I'm admittedly a critical person by nature...but really if you visit a town and then write a news piece about it shouldn't you at least spell the name of the town correctly? No one would visit Chicago and then spell it Shicago - its just insulting. So instead of just ranting and complaining to myself I'm going to start trying to write again.

Don't worry I won't use this as my rant forum...well maybe once or twice...but I plan to continue using this as my opportunity to share my own experiences with Haiti and how I view a country and people that I care deeply about.

So if anyone is out there still interested in reading I need a bit of advice as to where to go next - should I continue writing about the trip I took in November in order of all that happened - come back to the November trip at a later date and just write about my most recent July trip - or just randomly tell stories out of in particular time order? Or do something else entirely?

Eh - maybe I will just do what I want - but let me know if there is something like you would like to see me write about. So here's hoping that this return to blogging lasts a bit longer than my last attempt...

November Visit : Part 2

2011-02-20T12:35:00.000-08:00

“Its good to be back”

I was sitting next to the window and reading my book, Tale of Two Cities, when at one point I looked up and saw Haiti’s mountains and saw that we were getting closer to Port au Prince. I put my book away and just kept looking out the window.

When I was younger, every time I flew home to Chicago I would always look out the window to see things I recognized. Usually the only thing I was sure of was the Sears Tower, but I would try to find my house, my school, that really big movie theater close to the airport. Anyway as I sat on the plane flying into Haiti I strained my neck to get the best view out the window. I tried looking for what was left of St. Etienne a rural church in the mountains, that was the first church I visited in Haiti, I looked and found the road that we usually drove to get to Montruis (where the old seminary is, as well as some nice beaches), and as we descended into Port au Prince I struggled to see other familiar landmarks.

Searching for these places that I knew made the fear go away. I was coming back to a place that was familiar, a place that was like home, a place where I would be taken care of.

As I stepped out of the plane, walked through part of the airport and outside to the bus that would take us to our luggage…I took in the sun and the air, breathed in and thought “Its good to be back”

I walked with confidence through customs, and easily got all my bags (an accomplishment in itself) called my friend who was waiting outside and left without any problems. And when those guys surrounded me to help with my bags, speaking Creole to me, I just said “no mesi” (no thanks) and kept walking to my friend.

It was great to be back!

My November Visit to Haiti

2011-02-07T17:32:00.001-08:00

So I thought it might finally be time to write about my November trip to Haiti. I know it’s a bit late (ok A LOT late)…but I guess it just wouldn’t be me if I blogged about things in a timely fashion. I’m making posts about my trip in small portions – I wrote a lot about it, mostly for my own sake so I can remember the trip in the future – so here is the first portion or two.

Planning my November Trip

Last fall all I could think about was going back to Haiti. I missed my friends there, the food (even the rice and beans), the art, the music, the atmosphere, all of it. I hadn’t been there since last June and 6months was too much time to be away.

Of course it was right after I booked my tickets that problems started to arise…For example, the Cholera Outbreak. Although I was never too concerned about how this would impact me personally I think it may have caused some worry for my family. I don’t mean this to say that the Cholera isn’t troubling but I believed I had nothing to worry about since I am fortunate enough to have access to clean water and good food when I am in Haiti.

Then the night after I booked my plane tickets I was talking to one of the Haitians that I would be visiting and told him my travel dates. While I’d had this discussion before, it all the sudden occurred to us that I was leaving the day of the election in Haiti and they were expecting riots. Violent protests had already started in response to the Cholera and there were some campaign events that were becoming dangerous. So I changed my tickets to leave Haiti on Thanksgiving Day avoiding the election.

I won’t bore you with all the other little stumbling blocks I ran into planning my trip. I just wanted to make the point that there were moments that I seriously questioned why I was bothering with all this. Perhaps all the issues might be a sign that now is not my time to go back...Why not just postpone for a few months?

But the truth is I had to go. I kept thinking about how I spent my last Thanksgiving in Port au Prince…Attempting to plan a Thanksgiving meal in my apartment - Trying to explain in Creole to my friend Jeanine, who was cooking for me, that I wanted turkey and pumpkin. Being surrounded by a table of new friends, Haitian and American that had become like family. It was one of those moments that I knew Haiti had become like home. And as this years Thanksgiving approached I knew I had to be back, and all the problems that kept coming up were not going to stop me.

“Here we go Again”

After flying from DC to Miami, I had to spend the night in the Miami airport. It was awful (...but worth the money I saved on tickets). I got to Miami at around 10pm-ish and was wondering what I was going to do there all night since my flight didn’t leave till around 7:30am. Was I going to be the only one there? Would I get kicked out?

None of that happened – apparently I wasn’t the only one who wanted to save some money on plane tickets and there were a couple other people at the gate. The airport workers left the TV on for us…too bad they didn’t leave the remote control…but watching CNN all night wasn’t too bad. I got to watch Larry King interview Russell Brand.. a few times… which was entertaining-ish. The best part was when a nice airport worker brought me one of those pillow/blanket packets they sometimes give you on planes. He didn’t give them to the other people so I felt pretty special. It was also freezing in the airport so that blanket got a lot of use.

As the excitement began to mount for my flight so did the fear. Fear of Cholera, protests, and the airport (perhaps my biggest fear of all)

Every time I go to Haiti I am terrified of the airport. Probably because the first time I went to Haiti, as soon as I stepped out of baggage claim and out to meet my ride, I was surrounded by men yelling various French things at me; them trying to carry my bags while I tried even harder to hold on to them myself. Perhaps my memory isn’t exactly how things really happened but every time I imagine flying into Haiti that is what I think about; strange men surrounding you trying to grab your bags and yelling French/Creole at you.

So since then whenever I go back to Haiti, I quadruple check my ride plans, I make sure I know the person picking me up, make sure I have a working phone to call them when I land, ask what they are wearing, etc. I’m sure it’s pretty annoying to the person picking me up. I called the seminarian, Goursse, who was responsible for my ride, about an hour before my flight left Miami and made him promise (about 10 times) that he would be there, on time and as close as possible to the door I would be coming out of.

As I boarded the plane, I really started to have second thoughts… “Saying to myself what on earth are you doing? There’s Cholera…You know mom is going to be angry if you get sick? What about the protests? What if your car gets stopped by protesters? You are absolutely crazy? What if all those scary things that have been on CNN happen to you?” I sat in my seat and as the plane took off – I took a deep breath and thought “Here we go again”

Shocking Things

2011-01-29T13:39:00.000-08:00

Shocking things happen all the time. I always hear stories in the news about bad things happening to this person or that family and it always seems like that situation is an outlier, it is outside the ordinary, something that happens to some person somewhere, but not that sort of thing that actually happens to people. Does that make sense?

Lets try explaining it a different way. Whenever there were bad storms with big gusts of wind leading to tornadoes and what not, while I would be worried, there would always be that voice in the back of your head saying "I don't need to be worried, nothing bad will ever happen to me. Bad stuff happens to other people" It sometimes can be as if those other people don't exist, that their stories are imaginary or untouchable.

One of the first times I was confronted with how wrong this theory is and how real these stories are is when the earthquake happened. For maybe the first time in my life, I was a part of the imaginary, untouchable story. One of those crazy life events that you think just happens to other people happened to me.

Shocking things happen everyday. You hear about people dying of hunger, going homeless, being raped, abducted, etc. I hear these stories from the news and non-profits but for many of us I don't know if these stories really sink if. If we actually absorb the reality of the situation. If when you hear that Little Jenny was trafficked...I don't think the reality of what that means for her family, friends, and little Jenny is absorbed. Its accepted as something almost imaginary and untouchable...an awful story but not something that would ever happen to us or someone we know.

I had a busy day today. Lived my life like normal, went to a diocesan convention, did my own thing. There was nothing about today that would suggest anything shocking. Unfortunately shocking, horrible things happen everyday. I just randomly called a friend of mine in Haiti and was shocked by the story they told me. I'm not going to get into the details of what happened just trust me when I say its shocking, awful and unacceptable that these things can happen. Its a story that one day might be included in a statistic, but its not an imaginary or untouchable person. Its someone I know. In an instant I was ripped out of my reality and pulled into what is everyday reality for people in Haiti or Sudan, Uganda, Southeast Asia etc.

Maybe in the past I have always separated those stories in the news about awful things that happen to good people. Maybe I disconnected them from my life because the pain of accepting it is just too great. The sadness and disgust of connecting the shocking event to just one person is too painful, that to connect the story to the millions of other people shocking things happen to is just beyond painful. A pain that we aren't equipped to handle, but a pain, that if all of us could truly comprehend, might just save the world.

How could we turn our faces away when we here stats on poverty, HIV/AIDS, human trafficking, rape, abductions, malaria, refugees, etc if we could truly understand the pain and sorrow experienced by themselves, their family and friends. We couldn't. If we really felt that pain, then I don't think their would be discussions about cutting funding to USAID or ignoring oppressive or ineffective governments.

Anyway - shocking things happen to real people, in real places. Unimaginable and horrible things. I am sad for my friend. I am sad for Haiti. And I hope their pain stops soon. I also hope that I don't forget this feeling anytime soon. I hope it continues to motivate me. I hope that the next time I hear a statistic I take a moment to think about what the number really means to the millions of people who are affected by it. That I don't disconnect their tragedies from my life but that connect myself to their story and do my part to help.

I hope this entry made some sense. I'm still shocked and saddened by the news from my friend and wrote this entry as a way to process my thoughts a bit.

He came in a dark suit and blue tie

2011-01-17T06:44:00.001-08:00

Last night Baby Doc's plane landed in Haiti and he was greeted by various supporters while wearing a dark suit and blue tie. To those of you who don't know who Baby Doc is or remember him - here is a brief bio.

Baby Doc (Jean Claude Duvalier) became the dictator of Haiti at the age of 19 after his father (Papa Doc). He was known for killing his opponents and using the brutal Tonton Macoutes, a secret police force. He also stole millions from Haiti and after a popular uprising was exiled to France. You can read more about Baby Doc's dictatorship in this NPR article.

So now he has come back. His reasons for returning are unclear but he has said that he simply was moved by images of the earthquake at the one year anniversary and wanted to come back to help Haiti according to this New York Times article. Although the timing of his trip does seem to be suspicious with the ongoing election controversy and upcoming runoff election.

This just seems to be another hurdle for Haiti. And I cannot help but wonder, what are Baby Docs real intentions? How does he possibly think he can help Haiti? Why does he still have supporters? And where is the government of Haiti? In 2007 Preval said that if Baby Doc came back to Haiti he would face justice...so where is the government now? Why do they continue to be quite?

I don't have the answers to any of those questions...but I can tell you what Baby Doc was wearing - a dark suit and blue tie. Somehow his outfit was reported in just about every single article I read, like he was some celebrity attending the golden globes.

Picture from the New York Times

Hopefully in the next few days, some of our real questions can be answered and we don't continue to hear about Baby Docs outfits.

2011-01-12T03:48:00.000-08:00

In memeory of the 1 year anniversary of the earthquake, I thought I'd post my personal reflection from the moments when the earthquake happened. This part was written a week or two after the earthquake. I know its a little long but the first section is my memories from the day of the quake but if you're just interested in the earthquake then jump to the section titled 4:53.

Introduction

One of the first assignments I gave the seminarians in the fall for English class was to write Advent reflections. They each chose a verse from the assigned readings for a day in Advent and wrote about them and the goal was to try and incorporate into their reflections something about themselves or Haitian life. These reflections were then compiled in a devotional book that was shared with various partners and supporters in the US. I mention this because last week when I got home I saw the printed devotional that my mom had sitting on the coffee table. I turned to the first reflection, by 3^rd year Donald Metellus and was immediately struck by what he had written.

He chose the verse Luke 21:9. In his reflection my eyes immediately jumped to where he wrote “we will have wars and earthquakes. However, do not worry: God will be with us always…In a country like Haiti, there are many problems…We have to keep confidence and understand that the days move nearer and that God is always with us.” I read it and wondered if when he wrote this he could have ever imagined the problems that were in-store for Haiti’s future. If when he wrote that there will be earthquakes, he imagined there would be an actual earthquake. Or if he was wondering where God was in all of this?

I guess the following reflection is my attempt to not only remember the events following the earthquake but also to begin to make sense of it all.

Before the Quake

The Sunday before the earthquake all of the seminarians came back from their holiday vacation. I was so excited to have everyone back again. It had been a lonely few weeks with them gone and I was looking forward to my weekly meetings with each one and the nights I spent hanging out at the seminary watching shows in French that I didn’t understand and joking around and what not. It felt like life had been on pause for few weeks and that life was about to start again.

I remember on Monday morning I walked to a bank with the seminarian Goursse and we were able to catch-up. Afterwards I went over to the seminary and was able to see a bunch of the other seminarians. I knew I would be happy to see them but I was surprised by how happy I was. That night I hung out at the seminary, I was beginning to take all my meals there to. I spent supper talking to a 3^rd year named Wildaine. He was asking me why I had come to Haiti and what I thought I would do after I left. I remember he asked me if I liked Haiti and I said jokingly, “I think I like Haiti now, but who knows if I will like it in a few months.”

Tuesday morning things were normal. I had a carpenter come over to give me an estimate on some bookshelves we wanted to have made for the seminary. Most of the books were stacked on a desk going all the way up to the ceiling, making it difficult for anyone to use them. The carpenter told me he would have the numbers for me on Thursday. What else…

Oh, I was having my apartment cleaned that day by Jeanine. Jeanine is the girl who had been cooking and cleaning for me and basically took care of me and made sure I was ok. In return I over paid her in the hopes of helping to pay for her university fees. She and I had gotten especially close during the holiday break because she came and checked in on me everyday to make sure I was ok and not too lonely. We would joke about boys, my awkward Haiti moments, watched a movie together and ate spaghetti. Anyway looking back on that day it seems silly that I had my apartment cleaned and now I can’t even remember if I paid her. I think she left before I had the chance to pay her. She had class on Tuesday afternoons.

The rest of the day was spent in my apartment at my desk planning for my English Classes on Wednesday and Thursday. I was going to be teaching simple and continuing verb tenses or something like that. I was dreading teaching it…grammar has never really been my thing. At 5 o’clock I was planning on meeting up with the Jude, the other YASCer, once his class was over.

4:53 pm

4:53. That’s the time I was told the earthquake happened. I was at my desk when the shaking started. I didn’t do anything. I thought maybe a car had hit the building…maybe a bomb had gone off…but I did nothing. Finally, I remembered an episode of Saved by the Bell where there had been an earthquake and thought about what various characters had done in the show. It was then I realized I should do something. So I got under my desk and waited till the shaking stopped.

People have asked me how long the quake was. I’ve been told it was 30 seconds. To me it felt like 5 minutes. It’s amazing how stupid I was to not do anything and just sit there. It’s amazing nothing happened to the building because I don’t know if I would have had the presence of mind to escape.

As soon as the shaking stopped my first thoughts were that I needed to see Jude and the seminarians. I stepped out of my apartment. I saw dust and smoke in the air. I saw cars in the rode that had swerved up onto the sidewalk. And I saw the priest and the new deacon who lived in my apartment talking in the drive about what had just happened. I walked towards where Jude had been teaching the seminarians at College St. Pierre, an Episcopal Primary and Secondary School. I saw Jude and my students. They were ok.

In this first moment after the quake I know we couldn’t have comprehended what happened. I know I didn’t. I still didn’t even know that College St. Pierre had collapsed. I was looking at it, I could see it had collapsed but in the brief moment after the quake I didn’t comprehend that it had collapsed or what that meant.

I recently read a sermon by Bishop Mathes, the Bishop of San Diego. In one part of the sermon he uses the quote “Life changes fast. Life changes in an instant. You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends” from the book The Year of Magical Thinking. Bishop Mathes goes on to say “For the 9.8 million people living in Haiti, one world passed away and a new, uglier world was revealed.”

Looking back on those first moments after the quake I don’t think I understood that things had changed. It’s true, everything changed in a moment, but for me realizing that has been a continuing process. In some ways I wish I could have those first moments back and pause them. Appreciate them. The time before the truth of what had happened was realized. When despite the earthquake there was still an innocence and naivety. The damage wasn’t known. There was still room to hope and to plan.

I thought maybe we will find away to still have my English class on Thursday. It seems silly looking back my stupidity and lack of understanding in those first moments. Maybe in those moments I was just denying the reality, and hoping for the best. But despite all of that, whether I knew it or not, at 4:53 life changed, for me, for Jude, for the seminarians, and for Haiti. But maybe not just those in Haiti, I think it changed all of us in some way.

The moments after the first moments

After I met up with Jude and some of the seminarians, I began to take count of everyone that I saw and I didn’t see everyone. I began to ask “Wheres Wilky? Wheres Goursse? Where are all the first years?” Before anyone had a chance to answer the missing seminarians appeared. Thankfully.

Somebody pointed out that we shouldn’t be standing where we were standing. We were standing in an area that was close to College St. Pierre’s cafeteria and there were a lot of trees and some power lines. It was then that we moved to the soccer field as others began to gather there.

Once we were on the field I was able to truly look at College St. Pierre. I was able to notice the other people around me. A lot of people were white, covered in dust from the buildings that had collapsed and looking like ghosts.

I began to hear the stories from Jude and the seminarians who had been in his class about their experience during the quake. Donald was the one that ran first and told the others to get out of the building. Apparently as they were running the building collapsed along side them. Some tripped over the rubble but other than that thankfully…luckily no one was harmed.

Everyone began trying to call their families to find out if they were ok. I gave my phone to Carmel who had forgotten her phone in our apartment. Her dad worked at College St. Pierre but we didn’t know where he was. Nobody really had any luck. When I got my phone back, on the screen where it usually says Digicel, it said Emergency.

All the girl seminarians sat down on the grass with a few other girls. I was sitting with them and they began to pray. As they prayed I looked around at each one of them; all scared for the fate of their families and not knowing what the next few days had in store for them. As they continued to pray I looked around the field. Many of the other seminarians were standing either in pairs or by themselves. Other people had come to the field. Some were crying, and some just staring, others talking. I heard people yelling out to God, some saying things like “Blessed be God” “Oh Jesus” but I remember one girl who kept saying “Dieu Fâché” “Gods Angry”

I then began to think about what all this meant to me. How should I act in this moment? How can I be there for my students? I was fine. I knew my family was ok. Nothing happened to my apartment. I hadn’t lost everything. How should I be there for people who still had no idea what’s in store for them and prepare for the worst or the best news. Should I talk to them? Give them space? And in my head I began to think I’m not Haitian. Even though I was here and experienced the earthquake, I’m still not Haitian and I can’t possibly know how anyone is feeling. There was even part of me that felt like I was interrupting a private moment for the country, like in someway just my presence there was an intrusion on something deeply personnel. – I left the circle of girls and walked off by myself.

Jude and I began talking…the first of many conversations where we tried to figure out what was happening, what was going to happen and what damage had been done. We somehow got word that the Episcopal University was gone. Jude’s apartment was at the University but it was gone now as well as all his stuff. All he had at this point was the couple Gourdes he had in his pocket. He had two roommates, one Belgian, one French. We didn’t know what had happened to them. Jude lived on the third floor and he couldn’t think how it would have been possible for his roommates to escape. (In case I don’t return to this – later in the night we somehow got word that they were alive but one had seriously injured her neck)

As we continued to talk, I remember saying I couldn’t wait till morning. Maybe in the morning people outside of Haiti will have heard what happened. Maybe in the morning people will come to help. Maybe in the morning the phones will be working. Maybe in the morning everything will be better.

I remember I had English Class the next day…I knew now that class was definitely canceled indefinitely. What else would be cancelled now? What would happen to the students who went to College St. Pierre? The seminarians? How long would there classes be cancelled? How long would it be till things got back to normal? How long till life started again?

Some Resources that may be helpful for the Anniversary

2011-01-07T10:06:00.000-08:00

In light of the upcoming anniversary I wanted to share some resources...just in case you missed them elsewhere.

First the Episcopal Church has launched a campaign to raise money for the Holy Trinity Cathedral Complex in Port au Prince. This includes Holy Trinity Cathedral (St. Trinite in French) and the schools that used to be on its grounds. You can learn more about the campaign and donate by visiting their website

This is the same fund that I will be giving the money from the Calendar sales to...Which are still available for purchase ... I'm close to one of my goals...so just a couple more sails will help me reach it...hint hint. I'm not being completely serious but I still do think the calendar is a great way to look at beautiful art, give to a good cause, and keep Haiti ever present on your mind throughout the year.

In my last post I talked about the anniversary and not being sure how I would mark the occasion. I also asked what others might be doing that day. Here is a link to some prayers that some Episcopal Churches have put together. Perhaps you may want to say them on your own, or see if your church could use them in an upcoming service.

Do you have any prayers or resources to share?

Approaching One Year

2010-12-17T10:51:00.000-08:00

Normally when I write my blog entries I don't take a lot of time to think about what I am writing, I just write whatever I'm feeling at that time. This entry for whatever reason was different. I must have had at least 10 drafts that I deleted. Heres the one I settled on.

The one year anniversary of the earthquake in Haiti is less than one month away. I realized this the other day during a meeting at work and since then I have been trying to figure out what I am going to do to acknowledge the day.

I still have no idea. Dream scenario is that I would be back in Haiti at the temporary Cathedral in Port au Prince listening to members of the parish sing beautiful hymns in French and Creole. I would spend the day with the people that I was with immediately after the earthquake, just hanging out at the seminary. But since thats really not possible I've got to figure out something else to do on the 12th.

Do I even want to do anything? Do I just want to ignore the day and keep busy? Not gonna lie the thought has crossed my mind a few times, but I feel like, if I ignored it, in some weird way I would be hurting all those who lost their lives that days. Hurting those who lost family members and homes and schools and hospitals. Hurting those that are still living in tents and struggling each day to put the pieces of the lives the once had back together. So I have to do something to acknowledge the 12th. I think we all have to do something out of respect and love for Haiti and its people.

But what to do? This is where I get lost in thought. Should I take a moment of silence? Spend the day listening to Haitian music? Make a special donation? Do I want to be alone? Is there a church somewhere that I could go to be with others who care about Haiti? I don't know.

Maybe you can help me. What would you do to remember the anniversary of the earthquake? What are you doing; something your own, with your family, church, diocese, whatever? What do you recommend?

I am struggling with this and your thoughts and suggestions would be helpful. It would also be encouraging to know that other people will be acknowledging the day in their own ways too.

Taking Action

2010-12-11T14:30:00.000-08:00

I’ve been pretty quite lately just because when I think about all that is happening in

Haiti

, I’m speechless.

What can you say as the Cholera Outbreak continues to worsen, with more people dying and getting sick? What can you say as the blame game just seems to continue over where the Cholera came from, leading to protests throughout the country?

What can you say as violence wreaks havoc across the Haiti because of politics and reports of flawed elections? When candidates seem only to fuel the fire and not calm it? When you can understand why people, who have been living in camps for almost a year are fighting for a chance for their voice to be heard; while there actions may be wrong their reasons are understandable?

What can you say when you read reports of mothers picking up their children and fleeing tent camps because of tear gas being thrown by the UN to stop protesters. What can you say when people have been living in camps for 11 months, surviving extreme heat and intense storms?

I can’t say anything about any of this – I’m speechless; overwhelmed with sadness and frustration.

But just because I am in shock and frustrated does not mean that I can’t continue to act on Haiti’s behalf. It does not mean that all of us cannot continue to act on Haiti’s behalf.

Last Spring when I struggled with not being in Haiti and feeling useless, my aunt suggested I make a calendar of Haitian art to raise money for rebuilding. So that’s what I did and it’s for sale now. It’s not a lot but it is a small action I could take to continue to work on behalf of my friends in Haiti.

The art in the calendar really is beautiful and includes some Haitian proverbs. I also liked the idea of the project because it is something that shows Haiti’s beauty, strength and hope in spite of the problems they may be experiencing.

It is available at http://www.lulu.com/ and search Haitian Art 2011. The Calendars are being sold for $22 with the proceeds going to the Episcopal Church’s Appeal to raise money for the rebuilding of the Cathedral in Port au Prince and the schools that were on its property.

Be sure to also take advantage of the various holiday sales the website is offering. If you enter the coupon code FLURRY you can save 25% on your purchase. This only affects the amount of money going to the publisher and not the money going to Haiti; so feel free to save away.

I feel awkward promoting my project like some cheap salesman but I just think at times when things seem so bad we don’t know what to say, we can still take action to help our friends, so that’s what I’m doing and I hope you will too.

Too Much

2010-11-12T17:50:00.000-08:00

After the earthquake, I remember thinking, how could this happen. Haiti and its people didn’t deserve this. Haiti has had a brutal history and after all its been through mother nature gives them an earthquake!? Not just an earthquake but what has been called one of the worst disasters in history by UN Secretary General, Ban Ki Moon, and others.

That’s what I thought last January, but now 10 months later I can’t help but have the same feelings. Its been 10 months of people sleeping in tent cities. Some even with tents set up in the medians of busy streets. 10 months of sleeping on cold and rainy grounds. 10 months of facing the uncertainty of the future. As if all this wasn’t enough, the Cholera outbreak started.

Then within days of news about the Cholera there is news of a hurricane heading directly towards Haiti. When I heard about the hurricane I thought of my grandparent’s house in Florida and all the precautions there house has to keep them safe. And I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to have to hide out in a tent during a hurricane. News reports said that some of the people who stayed in the camps just sat with sheets around them trying to stay warm and dry during the storm as the rain pounded on them. Its unimaginable and something that should never be acceptable.

And now the news says that the Cholera has spread to Port au Prince. Close to 800 people have died and there seem to be no signs of the epidemic slowing down.

The night before the Hurricane Tomas was expected to hit Haiti I was talking to one of my Haitian friends. We didn’t say much. All we could think to say was. Its too much for one year. It’s just too much.

Cholera in Haiti

2010-10-24T08:04:00.000-07:00

A few nights ago I was talking to a friend of mine from Haiti on Facebook Chat. He asked me if I had heard about the Cholera outbreak in Haiti. Nothing had reached the news at that point. Of course the next morning I woke up to find a New York Times article about the Cholera Outbreak. On Friday morning the New York Times said on its Haiti Recovery page that it wasn’t a disaster at this point, yet by Saturday afternoon there were fears of it becoming a disaster as the disease continues to spread and more people get sick. As of this morning (Sunday) there are reports of Cholera cases in Port au Prince.

Just in case you do not know, Cholera is cause by a bacterial infection in the small intestines and is usually spread through contaminated food and water. In this case it is thought the disease started due to contamination of Haiti’s Artibonite River. Since the

earthquake thousands of people have used this water source for their washing and cooking. According to one of the seminarians I worked with, it is still very difficult to access clean water so even though they know they are risking getting sick they might not have any other option.

(Photo from the New York Times)

While there were fears after the earthquake about disease epidemics, until now there have been none. It’s also the first time in a century that Cholera has been reported in Haiti. I’ve included a link to one of the New York Times’ articles here and to the Partners in Health website that has more information and photos of the outbreak here.

I am not educated on this topic enough to add much of my own commentary except to say that this disease seems to be moving fast and I hope it can be stopped before more people die. Haiti really doesn’t need anymore tragedies.

Grounded in the States...

2010-10-21T16:21:00.000-07:00

I feel like I am always starting a blog entry by saying “sorry I haven’t written in so long, I promise I will do a better job”…So here I go again…Sorry I haven’t written in so long but I promise I will do a better job.

For those of you who don’t know, I have finished my time with the Young Adult Service Corps, the group that sent me to Haiti, and I am now living and working in Washington DC…This is part of the reason I haven’t blogged in the last couple of months. The moving process was a bit more daunting than I realized both for me and my dog.

By moving to DC, I have realized I am going to be grounded on US soil for the next couple years. I thought of this recently as I celebrated my birthday. The first time I have been in this country to do so in what seems like a long time. I also have been so enamored with fall because I haven’t seen the leaves change color or been able to get a pumpkin spice latte in a couple years either. With these perks of being grounded in the US there is also some sadness in the knowledge that I won’t be living in Haiti or anywhere else abroad for a long time. Living in Haiti and Uganda gave me this kind energy that made you thirst for life and excitement and the desire to make a difference in a way that I can’t seem to feel in the states.

In my new “grown-up” job I’m not able to do all the much involving Haiti. Don’t get me wrong I like my work, it just isn’t Haiti. I think because of this I am increasingly feeling the need to grab on to Haiti. Holding on to the memories of my experiences there, my Haitian friends, and to any chance I have of a future with Haiti in it. If I had only known when I started this blog “Holding Haiti” a year ago how true that expression would be in my life…

In light of all this I have a new commitment to this blog. I will continue to write about the experiences I had in Haiti and those I hope to have, my opinions on what’s happening now and anything else that may arise…if for no one else but me.

I hope that there are those of you out there that will continue to read and share your view points on Haiti and perhaps how you are holding on to your memories of Haiti.

Beginning the blog...again

2010-09-03T07:07:00.000-07:00

I’m sorry I haven’t updated my blog recently. I got behind on the posts and then just sort of gave it up. The other day however, I was surprised, when somebody asked me about my blog, and asked that I continue writing. The conversation helped me to realize that I still have a lot to say even if I am not living in Haiti…so I’ve decided to take his advice and continue my blog.

In the next couple of months I hope to share excerpts from my earthquake reflection some of my memories from when I lived there, various projects I’m working on now, and maybe, if I’m really on my game, commentary on some of the things currently happening in Haiti. I apologize because it probably won’t be in chronological order but simply what I happen to be remembering on that day.

As for this entry I wanted to share a poem I re-discovered the other day. As some of you may know or imagine the past 7months haven’t exactly been the best times of my life, This is in part due to the various responses I have had in dealing with the earthquake. The other reason is because after the quake I was sort of plopped back into the suburbs with seemingly nothing to do. I was upset about how people treated me, or how people didn’t treat me, being ignored/forgotten or getting too much attention. Without going into too many details things haven’t been great but I hope to be coming out of that slump now.

I am preparing to move and the other day I came across some of the things from when my Dad died a couple of years ago. It was a poem someone had given me. Those who may know me may think its the kind of thing that I think would be too corny, but for whatever reason it was the only thing I could really identify with after my Dads death. Anyway, I re-read it the other night for the first time in a long time and this time it seemed to express the feelings I have had the past few months. I thought I would share it here; maybe it expresses some of the feelings in Haiti now and a way we can continue to be a friend to them…

Don’t tell me that you understand,

Don’t tell me that you know.

Don’t tell me how I will survive,

How I will surely grow.

Don’t tell me this is just a test,

That I am truly blessed,

That I am chosen for this task,

Apart from all the rest.

Don’t come at me with answers

That can only come from me,

Don’t tell me how my grief will pass,

That I will soon be free.

Don’t stand in pious judgment

Of bonds I must untie,

Don’t tell me how to suffer,

And don’t tell me how to cry.

My life is filled with selfishness,

My pain is all I see

But I need you, I need your love,

Unconditionally.

Accept me in my ups and downs,

I need someone to share,

Just hold my hand and let me cry,

And say “My friend I care.”

- By Joanetta Hendel

Still Holding Haiti: Holy Week

2010-05-12T12:51:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the delay in writing about the next part of my trip but here is the third installment from my visit.

Maundy Thursday

So I’m not sure if there has ever been a Holy Week where I went to all the services until this spring in Haiti. My first day was Maundy Thursday and I went to the service at St. Jacques le Juste in Petionville…the church that was on the same grounds as where I was staying and one of the few churches in the area to not be significantly damaged.

At the church in Haiti it is usually expected that you bring your own prayer book and hymnal and of course I didn’t have one. So as the service started I was sitting in a row by myself and kind of pretended to mouth whatever was going on in the service…until an older women signaled for me to come up and sit with her and she shared her books with me for the rest of the service…as well as every service I went to at the church for the rest of my trip.

I avoid going to church on Maundy Thursday in the US because I hate the whole idea of foot washing. I guess I get the point of it but I don’t need to have my feet washed or wash feet. It’s not my thing. Turns out it’s not really the Episcopal Church in Haiti’s thing either…so I was reprieved from the foot washing.

I will say that the missionary to Haiti I was travelling with gave a really good sermon that night all about foot washing and why we should do it. It was all about love, loving each other enough to serve one another and be served. There was a tent city across the street from the church and she brought up the image of going across the street and washing all of their feet. The feet of people who are living in mud, disease and who knows what else. The question was presented to us about what could we do to serve the people in the Tent City…foot washing being symbolic for some other action. But the message of love and serving no matter what was made especially real for me because of my experiences and being in Haiti at that moment.

Good Friday

I went to a service in the morning at St. Jacques which was a pretty simple service, but following that service we made our way down to St. Trinité Cathedral. Since the earthquake an open air cathedral had been constructed next to the ruins of the old cathedral. It was more than meaningful to worship there.

The service lasted for about 3 hours as what I believe is call the last acts, or the last words or something like that were read followed by a sermon for each one. There were 5 priests and they took turns preaching. At the end of all the readings the Bishop would come to finish the service.

Admittedly it was hard for me not to be antsy during the service but I enjoyed singing the hymns in French and Creole as well as watching two little boys playing but there are two parts that stick out to me the most.

Towards the beginning of the service as a reading was read I turned around, looking behind me and saw Bishop Duracin sitting in a car just watching and listening. He remained there for the rest of the service until it was time for him to process in and do his part. For me, it was nice to see him taking a few moments of quiet to himself, one of the few moments of peace I believe he has had since the earthquake. A time of reflection to think and watch his people worship. I couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking.

The second most memorable image I have is during the service when one of the acolytes carried the cross up aisle playing the role of Jesus with the rumble and destruction in the background. Looking at the picture is better than me describing it so here it is…

Easter Vigil

Late morning the day of the Easter Vigil, Lauren and I were standing around the church. A petite old woman came up and said to us she thought there was a service and she had been waiting for it. Lauren politely told her the service was that evening and she hoped the women would come back that night for it. The woman’s clothes seemed to be a bit ragged and from the looks of her she didn’t seem very well off. She also began to explain that her leg was injured alluding to the pain she was in, her need for medical care and that it would be difficult to go home and come back again. For some reason I couldn’t help but feel some sort of warmth for her and a connection to her and I hoped she would make it back for the service that night.

To be honest I didn’t pay all that much attention to the service that evening (I was getting a bit churched out) but instead looked at the people around me. I was sitting next to the same women I had for the past services sharing her books as usual. At this point she was so used to hearing me read in French next to her that I actually think she thought I was good at French and would say things to me quickly in French and ask me questions. I usually just nodded or mumbled something in response.

There were some people I recognized from other times I had been at the church from before the earthquake. A mom who I had seen at the Christmas eve service, then with her exceptionally chubby cute son, another older women who usually talked to the women I sat by, but as the service started I looked and I did not seen the older woman from earlier that day.

The service was done with the lights out. Everyone brought their own white candles that were lit with a fire started at the beginning of the service. I began to observe the different candles. Many of the members that were present for the service are a more well off than the average Haitian so it was interesting to compare the candles. There was a thick long candle, short white candle in glass, candles with holders so wax wouldn’t land on their hands…

Then the old petite women walked into the church. She sat near the women I was sitting with. She still had a limp and had changed her clothes from earlier. I saw she had brought a candle, a simple white candle, the kind that you put in a candle stick. Clearly a much less expensive candle. She lit it and tried to hold it during the service while balancing her prayer book and hymnal. I noticed that wax was starting to drip on her hands and it seemed as if she was looking for a way to make it better while at the same time trying to ignore it and continue to pay attention to the service. Next thing you know the women next to me helped her out and they were able to drip wax on to the ground and created a stand for the candle. It stuck out to me as a very sweet simple act of kindness, the rest of the service is kind of a French blur.

I couldn’t help but think of the older woman for much of the rest of my time in Haiti Her simple genuine presence at the church. I could only imagine why she was coming to the church. What was she searching for, what she was praying for, what she was thankful for? I wished to know what her story was and was sorry for my inability to have a conversation with her.

Still Holding Haiti: It's Not All Happy

2010-04-27T11:21:00.001-07:00

Even though it felt great to be back in

Haiti

, I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t scared or sad.

As I went around the city going back and forth to the airport I was reminded of all the destruction that I had left last January. All the buildings that had collapsed and were still so slanted that it looked like a gust of wind could knock them over. Even though I had already seen all of this before it was sad to see the enormous amount of work that still needed to be done, just to clear the ruble.

Driving around also brought me back to my last day in Haiti where I spent the morning driving around for hours before finally going to the US embassy. All the anxiety from that day found its way back into the pit of my stomach.

We also drove by some of the tent cities. Some of them taking up only the space of a small public square and others that stretched off into the distance. One thing that was good about seeing the tent cities was to see the tents. When I left people were using make shift sheets, plastic tarp and umbrellas for shelter and while this was still the case sometimes, there were also an abundance of tents giving people a close to suitable place to live. But its still disappointing to see the conditions in the tent cities and one has to wonder when people will be able to go back and live in permanent homes.

One of the things that affected me the most during my trip back was the fear. I was staying in Petionville at the Episcopal missionary’s apartment. It was on the third floor of a building next to the church and right next to a busy street. The night as we were going up to the apartment I remember asking if the building had been checked out and if it was safe to sleep in and the response was something like “We think its ok”…

As it came time to sleep we talked about what we would do if there was an earthquake and where we would go. I wasn’t all that comfortable with the plan but it seemed like it was the best option. Then I prepared a backpack with my passport, change of clothes, granola bars, phones etc that I could quickly grab in case I needed to leave quickly. We slept with the door unlocked so we could get out quick.

As I laid down to sleep at night I couldnt help but about how all this prep work probably wouldn’t be that useful if anything like the January 12 earthquake happened. I didn’t really think there would be time to get out or that I would have the presence of mind to get out with my things or worse that I would just sleep through something. Then I thought about the buildings I had seen which had pancaked. Not very comforting. I laid there stiff as a board feeling like I was back on the grass at the soccer field the night of the earthquake.

Needless to say I didn’t sleep very well and woke up to a swollen bottom lip. Apparently during the night when I had managed to sleep I was so tense that I bit my lip…and judging by the feeling in my lip…I bit it hard and for a long time.

Despite some of the fear, anxiety and sadness, I tried my hardest for it not to become the focus of my trip. I knew that this was what my students and friends had been dealing with ever since I left and I couldn’t let just one night ruin my visit.

Still Holding Haiti

2010-04-21T08:00:00.000-07:00

Last time I wrote about my upcoming trip to Haiti, where I was looking forward to returning and hoping to see my friends and students and seeing what has happened since I left. Because it would be probably one of the longest blog entries ever to write about my whole trip all at once I’m going to spend the next few days writing about different parts of the trip. So here’s the first one...

Getting There…

As you might know I was more than excited to go back to Haiti, so imagine my disappointment when I found myself sitting on the plane at O’Hare airport 2 hours after my flight was supposed to takeoff. There were electrical problems with the plane and eventually we had to switch to a different one. We landed in Miami 3 hours after my flight was supposed to land and I missed my connecting flight to Haiti, which also happened to be the last flight out for that day.

I spent the night in Miami at the Holiday Inn and ate at the hotel’s Cuban Restaurant (the Airline Paid). I was more than angry and disappointed so while eating alone, instead of completely sulking, I tried to distract myself by watching planes take off, thinking how thankful I was I had packed extra clothes and toiletries in my carry on, and trying to figure out the similarities between the Cuban food I was eating and Haitian food I should have been eating.

Bright and early the next morning (before sunrise) I was on the shuttle bus back to the airport. There was a small scare that I wouldn’t make it to the airport because the driver didn’t seem to know how to get there and kept driving on streets that were dead ends but eventually we got there and after some small delays on the airplane I was finally on my way to Port au Prince!

As the plane began to land I was able to look at the window and was filled with excitement. As I stepped off the plane, greeted by a small band, and making my way through customs I felt so happy to be back. I eagerly pulled out my Haitian phone and sent texts to some friends letting them know I was there. One friend even called me and as we were talking the mentioned how much happier I sounded.

Even as I waited and waited for my luggage, I continued to be happy. Listening to the familiar sound of Creole. The pushing and shoving as people edged closer to get their bags. The workers helping the older women first. The rich men who tried to do what they could to be first to get their bags. The heat. The organized chaos. The hurry up and wait. Seeing and feeling all of it let me know I was back in Haiti and it felt great.

A lot of my first day was spent making return trips to the airport…seems like the Airline decided not to put my luggage on the plane (or about half of the other people on the flight)…I did eventually get everything but I couldn’t help but be in a good mood about it all because I was back.

I’m Going Back

2010-03-30T05:12:00.000-07:00

but just for a short time.

Tomorrow I am leaving to go back to Haiti and will be there for about a week and a half. I’ll be going to help the missionary Lauren Stanley and basically do whatever I’m told while I’m there. I am really looking for ward to returning and seeing my friends again and people that I never had the chance to say goodbye to because I left in such a rush. I hope that maybe this trip could help me figure out a way to continue to go back to Haiti or even stay there again on a more long term basis.

I will be there for Easter Sunday. I was talking my neighbor and when I told her this she pointed out how symbolic it was that I would be there for Easter. A time of resurrection and new life and to see that so visibly in Haiti as relief efforts continue and the steps towards rebuilding begin.

I will also be able to be present for the Episcopal Diocese of Haiti’s Convention. It will be interesting to see what is discussed and to be honest I’m maybe more excited about the possibility of being able to see some of the priests I had met and hopefully some of the seminarians, who I spent so much time with while I was living in Haiti. Before the earthquake I was supposed to be at the convention to assist in different ways and I think its nice that I will actually still be able to do that now.

I’m also curious to see what changes have occurred since I’ve been gone. What ruble has been moved, how much has stayed the same. Admittedly I’m not exactly sure what to expect but it will be helpful to see for myself what has happened since the quake and I think it will help me with some of the presentations I still have left to give.

I’m sorry that I’m only just now telling you all about this trip but it all kind of came together pretty quickly and there were a few days where I couldn’t believe I was actually going so was hesitant to share the news. Looking back I would have loved to have shared the information with everyone earlier and perhaps ask for help gathering things to take to Haiti like tents bedding and toys. But thankfully from extra money that I fundraised last summer I was able to by a few tents, bedding, and toys to bring with me. So I have to thank all of you again who supported me and continue to support me.

Also just a heads up when I’m in Haiti I’m going to try and buy some art and hope to be able to have an auction to sell the art to raise money for rebuilding but its only an idea right now and I will have more information on that once I get back.

I’ll let you all know how everything goes. Talk to y’all later

San Diego Diocesan Convention

2010-02-26T08:57:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry I haven't really posted about the earthquake like I said I would. I'm still working on a reflection of my time in Haiti during and after the quake but until I finsih it I thought I would post a speech that I gave.

Since I've been back in the US I've been speaking at different places about my time in Haiti in the hopes of raising more money and so that people continue to think about Haiti long after the media has left. I recently went to San Diego to visit my mom and was invited to give a report about my time in Haiti to their Diocesan Convention.

Below is a copy of my speech that you can look at if you're interested and hopefully I will post more about my experiences sometime soon.

San Diego Diocesan Convention 2/13/2010

Good afternoon and thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk a little bit about my experiences in Haiti.

I began living in Port au Prince, Haiti last September after being assigned by the Episcopal Young Adult Service Corps to work for the Diocese of Haiti. While in Haiti, I was responsible for teaching English to the 17 seminarians and doing various development projects for the seminary, which is called the Seminaire de Theologie Eglise Episcopale d’Haiti. Some of the projects I worked on included plans for a new building to house students and use as a guesthouse as well as an Advent Devotional prepared in English by the seminarians. I really enjoyed my work and my life in Haiti and was happy to be there during what seemed to be an exciting time of hope, potential and growth not only for the Episcopal Church of Haiti but for the entire country.

But on Tuesday January 12^th life changed in Haiti. When the quake started I was sitting at my desk in my apartment in Port au Prince. I had been planning my English class for the next day. The shaking started and I had no clue what was going on. People have told me that the quake lasted for 30 seconds but at the time it felt like 10 minutes. Luckily my building somehow didn’t collapse and when the shaking stopped I went outside to find my friends, not fully understanding the enormity of what had happened. I immediately noticed the dust which filled the air and saw people who looked like ghosts covered in white dust from buildings which had fallen. I saw the Episcopal Primary and Secondary school which was next to my apartment, it had collapsed. My students, the seminarians, had been having a class there at the time but had managed to escape.

We began to gather at the soccer field, which was between my apartment and the school, a place that would become my home over the next couple days, and is now, still the home to about 3,000 people who are being cared for by the Episcopal Church of Haiti. While those first hours after the quake were filled with fear and anxiety, it was also a time of great calm and faith. I remember sitting with some girls only a few minutes after the quake as they prayed. Praying that their families would be ok, praying for understanding, but also that they knew that God was with them. As the night progressed news trickled in, a little about people’s families, but also the damage that had been done in the rest of the country. The National Palace was gone. The Cathedral was gone. The Hotel Montana was gone. All the things which had been symbols of power, strength or stability, were gone.

The rest of the night was filled with tending to wounded, and attempting to sleep on the cold earth, as the ground continued its shaking with various aftershocks throughout the night. All I could think about was that I wished morning would come.

I can’t go into here all the details of my experience over the next couple days but there are a couple of things I’d like to make sure you hear. One is the strength of the church in Haiti. The morning after the quake, Bishop Durcin, Haiti’s Bishop, was at the camp with his wife who had been severely injured. At a time when all of us could have crawled into a corner and only looked out for ourselves, the Bishop called some of us together and formed a committee. This group was to begin organizing the camp, where people would go to the bathroom, where they would get medical treatment etc…None of us knew when help would come, and at that time, the Bishop knew it was up to him and the church to care for the growing number of people at the soccer field. Bishop Durcin said that it was important to feed the people at least one meal that day with whatever food we could find, the people there were God’s people and we needed to do what we could to care for them. Bishop Durcin said “We are the church and that doesn’t stop with an Earthquake” To me I think that sentence best describes the Episcopal Church in Haiti.

So how do I think the earthquake affects the Diocese of San Diego? I believe that to be apart of the body of Christ means that we are all connected to each other through good times and bad. That others joy is our joy and their pain is our pain. I think we are all called to be there with Haiti, yes because there was a massive earthquake, but also because we are all connected in the body of Christ and sometimes we are connected in ways we never knew. I wanted to elaborate on this by sharing one last story.

When my mom received the position to come and work for the Diocese of San Diego, Bishop Mathes sent my brother and I each a San Diego Chargers hat as a sort of welcome present. The gift meant a lot to me and I took it with me to wear in Haiti. On the Thursday morning after the quake I was rushing to throw things into my back pack. One of my seminarians was with me and I stumbled on to the hat. Knowing that I didn’t have space to take it with me, I gave it to him. (He had this really old hat and I was always joking about how he needed to replace it, so it seemed fitting to give him the San Diego hat). When I was back in the states my mom told me about an evensong that your diocese had done for Haiti. She told me that Bishop Mathes had preached and used a prayer one of my seminarians had written in his sermon. I went online to read the sermon and was curious about which student’s prayer had been chosen. Turns out it was the same seminarian that I gave the San Diego hat to, which the Bishop had given to me. Little did anyone know at the time, that while Bishop Mathes was saying the student’s prayer, that student was wearing a hat that had been given by the Bishop. I wanted to share this story not only because I think its really cool, but because it shows how God works in all kinds of ways to show us how connected to each other we really are; whether it’s a Haitian seminarian and a Bishop or the diocese of Haiti and the Diocese of San Diego.

It is going to take years before Haiti recovers and rebuilds. People’s lives have been put on pause indefinitely and who knows when they will continue again; when they will be able to go back to school or back to work. All I ask is that through all this you pray for Haiti, continue to think of ways which you can contribute and remember that we are all connected through the body of Christ. Thank you.

Haiti Earthquake

2010-01-20T07:06:00.001-08:00

I just wanted to let everyone know that I do plan on continuing with my blog and will be posting about my recent experiences in Haiti as soon as I get the opportunity to sit down and write about it.

Thanks again for all you thoughts and prayers for me and for Haiti especially this past week. Thank you for continuing to read. And I hope you continue to pay attention to whats happening in Haiti, continue to help in anyway that you can and continue to pray.

If you are looking for a place to get more information about what is happening in Haiti especially some of the work that is happening in the Episcopal Church please check out this website

If you would like to make a donation to Episcopal Relief and Development to help with relief efforts in Haiti you can do that here

More Soon and Thanks Again

BTI Graduation

2009-12-29T15:23:00.000-08:00

The weekend before Christmas I had the chance to go back to Les Cayes to help with the graduation at BTI…or The Bishop Tharp Business and Technology Institute.

In an earlier post I wrote about what a great program BTI is and how it helps train students in job skills like business and computer sciences to help them get jobs. The last time I was there I got to listen in on a seminar about Entrepreneurship and particularly a discussion about ways to reuse water bottles. You can find used water bottles thrown everywhere. It was so exciting to hear these students think outside the box and come up with ways to support themselves, help their families and even grow and strengthen Haiti’s economy. So needless to say I was happy to help out with the graduation.

I also got to help with a kids Christmas party. BTI offers English classes to kids in Les Cayes and this was their holiday party. Santa even came and each kid got a present and I got to make the placemats!

Here are some pics from the Christmas Party and the Graduation.

Playing Catch Up

2009-12-17T15:05:00.000-08:00

I’m sorry that it has been so long since the last time that I wrote. It has been a very busy few weeks. Here are some of the things I have been up to

Trip to Les Cayes, Okay…
In November I had a chance to go to Les Cayes…or rather OKay which is what most Haitians, I am told, call it. Apparently it was called OKay and then the French made it Les Cayes…I’m not to clear on the details…Anyway I went there.I was excited because I knew during the trip I would get to visit the town of Torbeck. About 20ish years ago my church back home had a relationship with the church and school there and I was excited to be able to see it. And lets be honest, I was also excited because it meant I got to leave Port au Prince for awhile. The drive to Cayes was beautiful with the mountains and driving along the ocean…Haiti’s landscape is a truly amazing.

Anyway in Cayes I was working with a bunch of American partners that were visiting the area, particularly a group from a church in Atlanta that was looking to begin a relationship with some sort of project in Cayes. The group was there to get a better understanding of Haiti, of Cayes and see what project would best fit their parish. It was wonderful to be able to spend time with these people and help them in their search. Spending time with them also meant that I got to see a bit more of the area than I may have normally…It also included a trip to the beach at Port Salut and my first time eating Lobster (So good!)

Port Salut

Eating Lobster

I also learned more about 2 exciting projects that helped to give me hope for Haiti and re-energized me a bit. The first one is Maison de Naissance. It is a clinic that deals with Maternal Health and it has been able to do amazing things in the area. I also think it is not just the clinic but the nurses go out into the field to visit and educate women. From what I could gather it seemed to be a great organization that was taking a holistic approach to health and development and took into account local knowledge, which I appreciated. It is also cool because it is all run by nurses!

The second is BTI, The Bishop Tharp Institute of Business and Technology. It is kind of like a community college that the Episcopal Diocese of Haiti runs. It is exciting because it is training people in skills that are needed so that they can hopefully find jobs. I wish I could give you the percentage of students that find jobs after leaving but I forget the exact number…I do know that when considering the very high unemployment in Haiti, the number of students who do find jobs is impressive. If you want more information about BTI just let me know and I can get it for you.

The group from Atlanta also decided to partner with BTI and build a guesthouse. This will give housing for visiting partners, visiting professors and could potentially be housing for nursing students (the want to have nursing students train with Maison de Naissance). But if a guest house were to be built, the thought is that BTI will add a hospitality component to its curriculum…which is good because Haiti is currently trying to grow its tourism industry again.

I’m headed back out to Cayes this weekend to help with BTI’s graduation…I will let you know how it goes.

First Trip to Cité Soleil
Also in November I took my first trip to Cité Soleil…the first of what I hope will be more, but so far the timing hasn’t worked out. In case you didn’t know Cité Soleil has been called the biggest slum in the Western Hemisphere. While I was there I was helping with an organization called LAMP which is a clinic.

So I went not knowing what really to expect or what I was going to be doing…and I had heard a lot about Cité Soleil and not much of it was good. For example, I told someone I was going and they proceeded to tell me that the other week 5 people had been shot and killed…not really what you want to here before you go somewhere.

So I had those thoughts running through my head as I arrived at the clinic and as soon as I got there I was immediately thrown into preparing and distributing prescriptions to patients. And by that, I mean, that there was a table filled with bottles of medication and you tried to put the right amount of medication, into the right envelope as quickly as you could. But I have to say, somehow it all worked.

Afterwards I walked around with the woman who manages the clinic, first to look at some land that LAMP is considering using for a feeding program and then to visit some of the schools in the area. The woman I was with tries to take care of the children in the schools as much as she can. For example, many of the children come to the school with out shoes so when she has extra money she tries to buy some shoes.

Overall I enjoyed my time there and am looking forward to going back…I also want to add that I felt completely safe the entire time I was there.

Street in Cite Soleil

Thanksgiving
Last year I didn’t get to celebrate Thanksgiving because I was living in Northern Uganda but this year I was determined to celebrate Thanksgiving complete with turkey and cranberry sauce.

I have a girl who cooks for me sometimes but she only speaks Creole. I asked her if she would cook Thanksgiving Dinner for me and some of my friends, and with some help was able to successfully ask her to make turkey and something with pumpkins, squash and sweet potatoes. In one the grocery stores here we were also able to buy ocean spray canned cranberry sauce (my favorite).

Thanksgiving Day, we went to an English service in Petionville and afterwards some of my American friends here as well as a couple Haitian friends gathered at my apartment for dinner. It was a good time and we even added a Haitian twist to our Thanksgiving…Rum Punch

“Pilgrimage” to Mirebalais, Cange, Hinche and Cap-Haitian
The day after Thanksgiving I left to go on another trip with Lauren and Pere Ajax (the same people I went to Cayes with). It was really good and the only thing that would have made it better was if I hadn’t been sick with a cold the whole time. And I apologize that there aren't pictures up for this yet...I didn't take any pictures on this trip and am waiting to get some but I will post some when I get them.

Anyway we left Friday, only 2 hours later than planned. We stopped in Miribalais which is in the Central Plateau for a couple minutes to talk to the priest there and look at the Episcopal School. Mirebalais seemed like a nice town but we were there for no more than 20 minutes and then we were back on the road again.

An hour or two later we stopped in Cange, also in the Central Plateau. I’m not sure how many of you are familiar with Paul Farmer but he is a doctor who founded this incredible health facility in Cange called Zanmi Lasante. He did this in partnership with an Episcopal priest. So while I was in Cange I had the opportunity to visit Zanmi Lasante, to see the hospital and all the other medical services they offer, as well as the Episcopal Church and School which are incorporated into the facility. What they have done there is really incredible and it feels like stepping into another world.

Finally at the end of the day we reached Hinche, also in the Central Plateau. One of the first things we did was take a small tour of the town…the highlight for me was the airport…which was a field filled with kids playing soccer and livestock grazing…We stayed there that night and the next morning there was a big Mass to celebrate St. Andrew…the Episcopal Church in Hinche’s namesake. The service was really nice but my favorite part was the beginning when the band, all the choirs (there were at least 5 choirs) and all the clergy processed around the public square and into the church.

After the service and quickly eating some really good food, and King Cola Banana Soda we were back on the road and on our way to Cap-Haitian. That night we got to Cap-Haitian and did another little tour of the town. Cap-Haitian is in the northern part of Haiti and right on the ocean…The rectory also happens to be right on the water. Cap-Haitian seemed like a really nice and chill town.

The next day was the First Sunday of Advent and we went to L’Eglise Saint Esprit, the Episcopal Church in Cap. It was a beautiful church and I was excited to recognize some of the melodies of my favorite Advent hymns even if I didn’t understand the words. I think I should also point out that I got phone numbers from 2 guys before we had even had Communion.

In the afternoon there was a graduation for the Episcopal Vocational School in Cap. The school has been around for maybe 30years and has about 1,000 students, studying everything from accounting to auto mechanics. This particular graduation was just for the students who had studied accounting. My travelling cohorts and I were given seats in the front of the ceremony as special quests…we even got boutonnieres to wear. It was a little awkward and the ceremony was a little long but at the end when the new graduates sang Michael Jackson’s “We are the World” and I could not have been happier

The next day we visited the L’Eglise Saint Esprit School. It was an incredible school; it was clean and seemed like a very happy learning environment. It was surprising to learn that the entire school had been constructed without the help of outside partners. It had been paid for entirely by the community. And just trust me when I tell you how rare I think that can be here. I think it would be exciting to see what this parish and its priest could do if it were given a little outside assistance since they have already been able to do so much on their own.

In Cap I was also able to see my first Bat...one night I was out late on the balcony and had started to fall asleep when it swooped past my head...I yelled screaming into my room and of course the bat followed...but then left. Also, Cap taught me to always bring a mosquito net.

Overall the “Pilgrimage” as we called it gave me a great opportunity to see a lot of Haiti and I feel like now I am starting to get a better sense of the country and the work of the Episcopal Church here.

…I am sorry this post was so long…I promise not to wait so long before my next post…

Soda, Pringles, Bagays and other things

2009-11-13T10:55:00.000-08:00

So I wanted to share some of the funny or interesting things that have happened over the past few weeks…

This is the Life
This is the life…Its an expression I seem to keep hearing from the seminarians and other Haitians that I have met. The first time I heard it was in response to someone saying a friend’s family member had died. Someone simply said “This is the life”

Since I have been in Haiti I have heard about a lot more deaths in people’s families only to hear the response, “This is the life.” I have been to two funerals so far in Haiti, one for the mother of the Bishop and one for my friend’s step-father. The funeral for my friend’s step-father was a Catholic service and it was actually a funeral for three different people and their families. It was interesting to think about having to share your funeral time with two other families but I guess “This is the life.”

The other night some of the guy seminarians were watching TV and the girls came in to watch their soap. There was some discussion and then the girls changed the channel to the soap. One of the guys looked over to me and said “This is the life” Since then I have heard the expression used for frequently in similar situations.

I just think it’s interesting that the same expression can be used for such different events. I’ll leave it to you to think about why this could be.

King Cola Banana
So maybe my favorite thing to drink here is the King Cola's brand Banana Soda. It’s amazing. I drink about 5 a week. I love it. There is another brand that has Banana Soda, its called Fiesta and it really just is not even close to as good as King’s

So I went to my grocery store earlier this week and they were out of King Cola Banana. I’m pretty sure I bought them out. Now I am trying to settle for Fiesta until they get more but it’s really just not the same.

My Empty King Cola Banana

Walking on the Street
A couple of weeks ago I was running an errand with two of the guy seminarians. We were walking along Rue Capois and the guys were telling me how I needed to walk in the middle of them. I asked why and they were explaining that culturally in Haiti when two guys and a girl walk together the girl has to walk in the middle so the guys can protect her.

So of course they are in the middle of telling me this when a guy on the street grabs my arm and pulls me back, away from my friends. I pulled my arm out of his grip, and caught up with my friends and said “Nice job protecting me”…

(This is a funny story…the area where we were walking was completely safe.)

Pringles
You should just know that there are a lot of Pringles in the stores here. The have just about any flavor you can think of. It’s crazy.

But two warnings for if you are ever in Haiti…do not buy the generic brand. If you’re going to get them you should just splurge a little for the real thing. Also do not buy the Dill Pickle flavor. I made that mistake my first week here. I thought it looked interesting and wanted to try something new. It was a bad idea.

Bagay
A couple weeks ago we had a going away party for a missionary who had been working here for the last year. In preparation for this party I had to find a gift for her that would be from the seminary. I figured I would talk to her friend who was an artist and see if he had any ideas for something that would be easy to travel with and that she didn’t have yet. So of course when I told him he asked if he could make it. I said yes and asked what he wanted to make.

I should probably mention at this point that this artist friend only really speaks Creole and some French and most times I can’t understand a word he says.

So the artist friend begins going into some long description about what he wants to make and I have no clue what he was saying. I only noticed that he kept using the word bagay. So I grab on to this word and think to myself if I can just figure out what bagay means than I will have some idea about what he is talking about. So I commit to him making the gift and discuss the price…still not knowing what I am going to get…but knowing it has something to do with the word bagay.

So later that day I talk to one of the seminarians (one who knows English) and tell him all about my conversation with the artist friend and that he wants to make a bagay. And I ask what the word bagay means…Turns out Bagay means Thing…awesome.

Luckily everything worked out in the end.

Air Jordans

Last night the girls that I am living with showed up randomly with like ten pairs of Air Jordans, that I'm guessing were somehow given to the seminary. They were big shoes.

The Old Seminary

Last week Lauren, Jude and I as well as a priest named Pere Ajax, went to this town called Montrouis to check out this resort for a conference that is coming to Haiti in January. We also went to celebrate Lauren's birthday. We drove out there after English class on Wednesday, had dinner at this nice resort and spent the night at the old seminary.

The old seminary is beautiful. While it is a little overgrown at the moment all it needs is a little work and it would be amazing. Theres a good amount of land, lots of trees, oh and its on the water! It was awesome and I found myself wondering how we could get the seminary to move back there just so I could live there.

Anyway that morning before our meeting at the resort we had a nice 6:30 am swim in the ocean. The water felt great. and it was a wonderful short break from life in Port au Prince. Heres a picture from the beach there.

Seriously...its beautiful right.

I'm going to Les Cayes on Sunday. I'm really looking forward to it and I'll let you all know how it goes.

Working at the Seminary

2009-11-03T17:20:00.001-08:00

Classes at the Seminary started a couple weeks ago and since that time I have been very busy. I am beginning to get a better understanding of my job and its expectations as I continue to figure out what my role is here.

I have to admit when I found out that I would be doing most of my work at the seminary I was a little disappointed for various reasons. Probably the most significant reason is that I was really unsure if this is the work I am prepared for and meant to be doing.

After my trip to Sudan about five years ago, I knew that I wanted to work with poverty issues. I left behind any lingering thoughts of having a “normal” life and realized that I wanted to dedicate myself to fighting poverty, to finding peace in a world that at times seems plagued with violence, to stop corruption and greed and work to have governments that serve all their people. I wanted to be living in community with the poorest of the poor helping them to earn money and to learn, while at the same time learning from the beauty of their spirit. It was after this trip to Sudan that I decided to study issues of poverty and development in college and in Uganda and hoped to begin to gain an understanding of all these issues, so that when I finished college I would be able to jump into working and do my part to save the world (as corny as that sounds)

So when I decided to join the Young Adult Service Corps, I thought that this would be my opportunity to finally do all those things that my trip to Sudan had inspired in me. And then I found out that I would be teaching seminarians and working to develop the seminary. Talk about a bubble bursting. It seemed to me like another year that I would have to wait before I was able to do the work that I think I am meant to doing. The work that keeps me up at night wondering about what can be done…

But these past 2 weeks working at the seminary have helped me to better understand the work that I am doing here. That this is not a year of waiting but rather that this can be a year of action. That helping the seminarians is helping Haiti. These seminarians are not just future priests but future leaders of the church and they are future leaders of their country. The church plays a significant role in Haiti. For example in the Diocese of Haiti there are 250 schools that are run by the priests. These seminarians have the opportunity to reach out to the most vulnerable in their society, not just by sharing the word of God with them, but showing them the word of God and turning God’s word into action.

For the past couple weeks, in English class, the students have been working on Advent Devotionals. It is through their reflections that you can get a glimpse of Haiti, its strengths and its problems and see the potential these seminarians have to make a difference in their communities.

I am hoping to share the completed devotional with you, so please let me know if you are interested in receiving a copy. The main goal of the devotional is to raise awareness about the work of the seminary, and to allow people back home to learn about Haiti from Haitians. It is also a hope of mine that we may be able to raise some funds to help support the seminary. So please let me know if you are interested.

Just so you know the pictures in this blog were taken at the opening service for the seminary in the Chapel. And in case you can't tell the seminarians are the ones in the robes with the black belts. There are 17 this year...10 first years and 7 who are 3rd or 4th years.

Haiti's Prime Minister was Fired by the Senate

2009-10-30T06:19:00.000-07:00

Click here for more information

World Food Program in Haiti

2009-10-29T09:05:00.000-07:00

By February in Haiti the World Food Programs will have used up all of its foodstocks in Haiti.

You can learn more here.

More on La Gonave

2009-10-26T17:13:00.000-07:00

Here is a link to an article from Episcopal Life Online about the weekend at La Gonave written by Lauren Stanley, a missionary in the Diocese of Haiti

http://www.episcopalchurch.org/81799_116060_ENG_HTM.htm

PS I took the picture!

Port au Prince

2009-10-22T07:17:00.000-07:00

So I have been here almost a month now, so I guess I should probably tell you all a little bit about where I'm living ... Port au Prince.

I should confess that I purposely waited to write about Port au Prince because earlier I would not have had very many good things to say. This city is intimidating and scary ... I guess like most cities are at first ... except at a whole other extreme.

Port au Prince is packed with people and cars. The cars may just be the scariest part of the city, the drivers drive fast, park on sidewalks and really could care less about pedestrians. There have been a couple of times when I was walking that I could have sworn the car was trying to hit me.

Monday through Saturday there are people everywhere. The population of Port au Prince is estimated at about 2.5-3million people packed into a relatively small area. Its hard not to be a little intimidated walking on a street filled with people speaking a language you do not understand, and its clear you stick out, and are probably the topic of conversation. It also doesn't help when people are shouting "Blanc, Blanc, Blanc" at you, Which means white person or foreigner.

Admittedly, it's easy to be distrusting of some of the people on the street and for the first couple weeks I found myself gripping my bag tighter and tighter, not smiling, or responding to greetings. Now, I am happy to say, I've gotten more used to being on the street, realizing that it is more important to walk with confidence than to tightly grip my bag and that being friendly to Those that I regularly see on the street is a good thing.

Probably another difficulty is the poverty. I only need to walk out my apartment and onto the street and you can see the poverty on the street. From an old women sitting on the ground saying she is hungry, to a young boy in tattered clothes following you for a couple blocks asking for money. I know that this is not unique to Haiti but it is still hard to debate whether you should, or not, and to say no, because in all honesty if I gave some to one person I would be surrounded by others asking ... so I am going to try to find ways to help without giving money directly.

In spite of these and other challenges of the city, I am starting to see some of the good parts of this place more clearly. For example, it is hard not to admire the atmosphere of chaos that somehow seems to work. I really do think Port au Prince could give New York City's title of the City the Never Sleeps a run for its money ... just ask the three year old in my building who seems to be up playing outside at 4:30 am and is somehow still up playing at midnight.

Also there is brilliant artwork that is full of color that can bring dull, dirty areas to life with color. There are streets that are filled with people selling art. For blocks it feels like you are walking in an art gallery but it is even cooler because you are surrounded by the sites sounds of the city. And there are of course the taptap Which are nozzles that are painted with all different colors and themes. A lot of them have religious meanings and reference bible verses or simply say I love Jesus. I wish I had a picture of one now but I will try to get one soon.

There are also some really great people here that look after me. For example there is this man who runs my local supermarket. He always comes and says hello to me while I'm paying as he slips free gum or candy into my bag. I recently had a birthday and when he found out he told me I had to come back the next day for my present. He gave me a box of chocolates ... wrapped and everything!

I live close to the Champ de Mars which is kind of this huge public square with statues and museums and is really close to the Palais National, which is supposed to be where the president lives. It's a cool area and there seem to be a lot of concerts and what not there so it will be exciting to spend some more time exploring there.

The Palais National

Well I guess that's all I wanted to say about Port au Prince for now ... I will probably write more later as I continue to experience this city. I will also try to get more pictures. Gradually I am working up confidence to pulling out my camera on the streets, and right now I am only doing it on Sundays when the city is not as busy. But I promise more later.

My Address

2009-10-14T11:25:00.000-07:00

Hey all! Heres my address at the Seminaire de Theologie Eglise Episcopal d'Haiti but I wouldn't reccomend sending me packages or anything that you would be terribly disappointed about if I didn't actually recieve it. Saying that, it would be great to here from people from time either through mail or email.

Mallory Holding
72 Avenue Christophe
Port au Prince, Haiti (W.I.)

If you absolutely want to or need to ship something to me please get in touch with me and I can tell you how to ship something through UPS.

Thanks!

A bit about my Job and Apartment

2009-10-11T11:15:00.000-07:00

So I have been in Haiti a little more than 2 weeks and I wish I could tell you my daily routine and whatnot…but I don’t really have one yet, what with the different trips and the fact that classes at the seminary don’t start till Oct. 19.

But I have found out a bit more about what I will be doing and now that I have gotten settled in to my new apartment I can show you pictures of that too.

First... my job.

Jude (the other YASCer here), Kyle (a missioner who’s been in Haiti for a year and leaving soon) and Lauren (a missioner that will be working here for three years) met with Pere Oge Beauvoir, the dean of the seminary this week, to touch base and figure out mine and Judes responsibilities for the year and what not.

So here is a list of some of things I am going to attempt to do or make steps toward while I am here.

- I’ve been told I’m the Director of Development for the Seminary (yikes) so some things I’m thinking about working on are
- Increased housing for students, missioners, profs, etc
- Classrooms separate from the University
- Work on income generating activities:
- Possible progress towards a capital campaign and endowment
- Seminarian summer internships

-Teach English to Seminary Students as well as continue classes that have been occuring for various priests

-Improvement of Seminary’s Website

-Help with Diocesan Development Projects when possible

-Elementary School income activities

-Proposal and Grant Writing

-Possibly help with Teacher Trainings for the Bureau Anglican de l’Education en Haiti

-Children/Youth Christian Formation?

-Lay Leadership Training?

Other tasks as they come along…this is the list now but who knows what will actually end up happening.

But as you can tell from the list there is a lot going on here. I have quickly learned that people working for the Diocese of Haiti, wear many hats. Priests often times not only work at their churches but also run elementary and secondary schools as well as teaching a class at the seminary. So it seems in this sense I will be jumping right into the life and work of the diocese. Admittedly I feel like I am in a bit over my head, however I am looking forward to the challenge and am excited to start working….

BUT if you have any suggestions or ideas for anything or think you would like to be involved or of some help to me or have ideas for people to contact… I would really appreciate it. I may be the one working in Haiti but I see this as an opportunity where all of us can take part in mission and help other members of the Episcopal Church. So please do be in touch with me.

Now for my living Situation…

I live in a very nice 2 bedroom apartment that I will be sharing with 3 of the female seminarians. I have still have yet really to unpack and have been sharing the space with Kyle, who will be leaving Haiti in November.

The Apartment is on Ave. Christophe and is close to the Champs de Mars and is right next to the seminary and the Episcopal university as well at the L’Ecole St. Pierre. A couple of priests also live in the same building but I haven’t met them yet.

Here is a view of Ave. Christophe but the pictures really don't do the street justice because I took it on Sunday morning so there are a lot less people and cars. Also it might be a bit blury because I took them in a rush since my camera was drawing unwanted attention. But you can notice on the streets how cars park on the sidewalk. You might also see in the picture on the right, my neighborhood trash-can which makes taking the trash out very convenient. Also there is a picture of the apartment building.

My Front Door...its very secure!

When you first come into the apartment theres the living room with a desk, which at some point will be mine, and another one that the seminarians use.

There is also a hallway kind of area that has a washing machine (yes!)

The kitchen is big with nice sunlight and we just got a brand new gas top stove and a line to dry clothes on.

There’s a bathroom…I don’t have much more to say about it …its a bathroom

And there’s my bedroom which as you may be able to tell from the picture is still in transition a bit since we have had people visiting and what not. I am slowly starting to unpack and get settled in. I’m especially looking forward to buying some art to make the walls in my room more interesting. I also just want to point out the AC unit in the room…its amazing.

That's about it. It's really nice and I feel lucky to be living in such a comfortable space. Anyway now you know a little about where I live and what I’ll be doing. I hope to write more later about my routine and also what its like living in Port au Prince.

Please do stay in touch and let me know if you have any suggestions or are interested in getting involved with my work!

My Surprising Trip to La Gonave

2009-10-08T07:17:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday I headed to the Ile de la Gonave for a blessing of the animals. Well little did I know at the time that this trip was bound to be completely different from what I expected…including a blessing of the animals without any animals!

I found out I was going on Wednesday and everyone kept calling it a ‘Grande Fete’ which to me meant big party…so I left bright and early the next day looking forward to some fun on the island, loving life and blessing animals. It would be the perfect break from my adjustments to Port au Prince.

So we get to St. Mark, which is the town we stopped in to catch what we had been told was a ‘Yacht’ to La Gonave. While the boat was very nice it was no yacht but I guess you would call it a power boat…whatever the next size up from a speedboat is. And we took it through the beautiful ocean water. It was amazing to see Haiti from the water. I was having a wonderful time on the water enjoying each choppy bump of the ocean and the tips and turns as Bishop Duracin stood there on the boat surveying the Ile de la Gonave ahead of him. I could just about taste all that I dreamed Caribbean island life to be like.

Well apparently I forgot that I was working for the church and that I was in Haiti. We got to the St. Francis’s church compound around 9:30 and quickly left for what would be an hour long (felt like 2hours) ride up a mountain driving over rock and some of the bumpiest most uncomfortable roads I have ever been on…oh island life.

I also forgot to mention that along the way we met up with a group of 6 Americans who are partners with various churches throughout the island who were also there for the Grand Fete. It was nice to spend time with them throughout the few days and hear about the work they are doing as well as lean on them for support for those few days. I will say that I admire the partners in these areas for committing to a relationship with a church that is so remote and difficult to reach.

Anyway we finally get up the mountain to this clearing of a beautiful church that has just been built by the partners and spend the next three hours blessing it as well as doing Baptisms and Confirmations. It was a long service even by Haitian standards from what I here.

Exhausted we all head back down taking another route. And our vehicles get stuck in the mud. Eventually we make it back very exhausted and wondering what the next day will bring.

So Friday we are told we will leave at 6am to do the next church blessing and Baptisms and Confirmations. We take a 2 hour car ride again on another crazy bumpy road and then we had to get out and walk. So we walked, for an hour and a half in the hot sun. Thankfully we had some donkeys which people took turns riding. At one point when we began our walk there was this amazing image of the Bishop walking ahead of all of us he seemed so comfortable in this setting and didn’t mind a little bit of walking. He also got up on a donkey at one point and looked a bit like a Haitian Clint Eastwood or John Wayne.

We have another long service (but not quite as long) at another beautiful new church. I will say that I admire the partners in these areas for committing to a relationship with a church that is so remote and difficult to reach. The walk back to the car was enjoyable because the sun was behind the clouds and you were able to really appreciate the beauty of the countryside. The other highlight was on the drive back we saw flamingos…a lot of them…just hanging out in the water…so cool

Saturday was a day of rest. And after the first 2 days we all needed it. There was also the chance to go to the beach. I did and it was so beautiful looking at the ocean and the mountains of La Gonave and looking back out to the main island of Haiti. But the one thing that distracted from all this was the trash which covered the beach. After getting past the trash I was out in the water swimming in the warm Caribbean for the first time, in my basketball shorts and a t-shirt because I left my swimsuit in Port au Prince. It was a bit awkward but totally worth it.

Now finally on Sunday we had the Blessing of the Animals. The church we were staying at in La Gonave is St. Francis. In the Episcopal Diocese of Haiti, as I understand it, on feast days of name sakes and what not many of the priests and seminarians try to go to the parish to celebrate. Hence why all this stuff was going on at La Gonave.

So Sunday we have church and I keep waiting to see some animals to bless. The service ends and the Bishop and others process out to the courtyard. I’m thinking the animals must be waiting outside, we can’t celebrate the blessing of the animals without animals. Well there were no animals outside. I was so disappointed. In Haiti most of the dogs and cats are strays and aren’t taken care of but I really did think some cows or goats or even a flamingo would make it out to be blessed. Later that day we were talking to the Bishop about pet blessings in America and he laughed with a smile that seemed like he was thinking how crazy we Americans are.

The next day we came back to Port au Prince and I was so happy to be back. My island party was nothing like I had expected and was exhausting. Although I didn’t have the fun in the sun I had hoped for it was a good chance for me to be exposed to various issues in Haiti such as rural life, roads, environmental issues like trash and the treatment of animals. It was also a great chance for me to learn more about partner relationships in Haiti and how they can be used and grow to benefit both sides of the partnership. Lastly I really did appreciate spending more time with the Bishop, seminarians and others who I will be spending this year working with.

Heads up…I promise in my next entry to share more about where I’m living and my responsibilities etc. And please let me know if there is anything you would like to hear more about.

Holding Haiti at La Gonave

My first few days...what a whirlwind

2009-10-05T18:50:00.000-07:00

I am sorry that it has been so long since the last time I wrote. I have now been in Haiti for more than a week and have probably spent more time outside of Port au Prince than I have actually spent in it. I was recently on the Isle de la Gonave and had an interesting time but I will write more about it on my next post. First I wanted to give you an impression of my first few days in Haiti.

Things have been very busy here since my arrival. There was a small mission group that arrived the same day as me that was staying at my new apartment which added to the craziness. The adjustment has been a little rough but that’s normal when getting used to a new place and thankfully I have been able to take some of the lessons of adapting to new cultures that I learned in Uganda and apply it here…the biggest one being patience both with myself and my new country.

My first Sunday I went to St. Trinite Cathedral which has these beautiful Haitian wall paintings that depict stories from the Bible but place them in a Haitian context. Very Cool. I also met the first and currently only female priest here and she is really cool. I know we exchanged this look of understanding in communion before I even had a chance to meet her.

Monday I went to a blessing of new classrooms for St. Vincent’s which is a school for those that are handicapped or have some sort of disability.

Later that day I was off to St. Etiennes which is a small church in the mountains about an hour outside Port au Prince. There was a program to train the Sunday School type teachers (called monitors) and a Vacation Bible School that Kyle (the missioner I am currently staying with) and the small group of mission trip-ers were doing. Being in the mountains was beautiful and it seemed like a church in the sky. The hospitality of the priest and his wife there was wonderful too.

Tuesday night I was back in Port au Prince and bright and early Thursday I was off to Ile de la Gonave, which I will post about in the next couple of days. So far it has been a whirlwind of new experiences and I’m just trying to keep up. I am anxious to feel comfortable here and to know my way around. I feel confronted already with a lot of challenges such as working on my French, learning Creole, finding my way around town, figuring out how to get food…so many things

I will try to elaborate on a lot more throughout my time here but let me know if you have any questions or if theres anything you want me to post about!

I'm Here!

2009-09-26T18:53:00.000-07:00

I got to Haiti safely with an interesting flight including me holding my water bottle in my lap (it leaks and I didn't want it to leak on my bag) So I'm holding it and fall asleep and when I wake up the water bottle has leaked all over my front and it looked like I wet my pants on the plane. I was so afraid I would show up and still have a wet skirt and that that would be the first impression I made here...I'd be that girl. Luckily it dried.

Now I'm busy taking in everything I have to learn and trying to get acclimated as fast as I can and feeling slightly overwhelmed but I'm sure it will be fine in a couple weeks.

I will try and write more later once I have more to say

Thanks!

2009-09-21T08:54:00.000-07:00

After being delayed a bit, I am leaving for Haiti this Saturday morning. I want to thank everyone for all of their help, donations and support throughout this process of fundraising and preparing to leave. It has been amazing to experience support in ways I couldn't imagine from both old friends, those I've only just met and even strangers. Leaving for Haiti, I know that I have a whole community of people holding me up so thanks to all of you!

And in case you all were curious about my fundraising, with all the help I received not only was able to meet my $10,000 obligation but it was surpassed! With the extra money I plan on creating somewhat of a discretionary account that I can use to support some sort of project of something that I come across once I’m in Haiti. I will be sure to sure what I end up using it for. It’s been amazing from donations from my home church St. Marks, to my moms in Elmhurst, from Chicago to Ottawa and Northbrook all the way out to Nebraska and West Virginia. Thanks again!

So now I find myself with just a few days before leaving at a chaotic time full of change for my family wondering why I’m leaving and going to Haiti of all places. The past few weeks have been a times full of questions, nerves anticipation, excitement and fear. I keep asking why is this the path that God seems to have laid out for me now, at this time and in this place.

Well yesterday I went to see the 6^th Harry Potter movie, again, with my mom. At the beginning of the movie Professor Dumbledore takes Harry from his home to this disheveled house that looks a bit scary. Dumbledore looks to Harry and says “You must be wondering why I brought you here.” At which Harry replies, “Actually sir, after all these years I just sort of go with it.”

Maybe now after all these years of incredible experiences in places like Sudan and Uganda I should take some advice from Harry and just go with it and trust God.

So hopefully next time you hear from me I’ll be safe in Haiti having met someone at the airport, gotten settled into my new home and enjoying my first few days. Thanks again for all your prayers and support.

Holding Haiti with thankfulness - Mallory

2009-06-28T14:47:00.000-07:00

This coming year I will be serving in the Diocese of Haiti as part of the Young Adult Service Corps (YASC). YASC is made up of young adults from all over the Episcopal Church who have a desire to serve, and live in companionship with others around the world. YASC participants spend a year working for churches around the world. In my group of YASCers there are people going to Colombia, the Philippines, South Africa, Tanzania, Hong Kong, Japan and Ecuador.

YASCers at a training in Toronto

As for me and my journey, I will be going to Haiti. Starting in September, I will be living in Port Au Prince teaching English to seminarians, training youth leaders and doing an assessment of possible microfinance initiatives that could help support education institutions of the Diocese of Haiti.

I am really excited about this opportunity and it is something that I never really expected. Since the end of high school I have been passionate about issues relating to poverty, and issues of peace and conflict in Africa. My passion started in Sudan growing through my visit to the Diocese of Renk in Southern Sudan and was strengthened after spending a semester studying in Uganda. It was out of these experiences that the desire to work against poverty while living in companionship, and growing in faith came about leading me to YASC.

Although I never thought I would end up in Haiti the things that I have already started learning about the country, especially its people, makes me think that it may be exactly the right place for me at this time. Throughout my blog entries I hope to share these things and my experiences but right now what seems to stand out to me most from what I have read is the strength of the Haitian people, despite everything, a strength that I hope to learn from.

Holding Haiti in anticipation - Mallory