Beginning the blog...again

I’m sorry I haven’t updated my blog recently. I got behind on the posts and then just sort of gave it up. The other day however, I was surprised, when somebody asked me about my blog, and asked that I continue writing. The conversation helped me to realize that I still have a lot to say even if I am not living in Haiti…so I’ve decided to take his advice and continue my blog.

In the next couple of months I hope to share excerpts from my earthquake reflection some of my memories from when I lived there, various projects I’m working on now, and maybe, if I’m really on my game, commentary on some of the things currently happening in Haiti. I apologize because it probably won’t be in chronological order but simply what I happen to be remembering on that day.

As for this entry I wanted to share a poem I re-discovered the other day. As some of you may know or imagine the past 7months haven’t exactly been the best times of my life, This is in part due to the various responses I have had in dealing with the earthquake. The other reason is because after the quake I was sort of plopped back into the suburbs with seemingly nothing to do. I was upset about how people treated me, or how people didn’t treat me, being ignored/forgotten or getting too much attention. Without going into too many details things haven’t been great but I hope to be coming out of that slump now.

I am preparing to move and the other day I came across some of the things from when my Dad died a couple of years ago. It was a poem someone had given me. Those who may know me may think its the kind of thing that I think would be too corny, but for whatever reason it was the only thing I could really identify with after my Dads death. Anyway, I re-read it the other night for the first time in a long time and this time it seemed to express the feelings I have had the past few months. I thought I would share it here; maybe it expresses some of the feelings in Haiti now and a way we can continue to be a friend to them…

Don’t tell me that you understand,

Don’t tell me that you know.

Don’t tell me how I will survive,

How I will surely grow.

Don’t tell me this is just a test,

That I am truly blessed,

That I am chosen for this task,

Apart from all the rest.

Don’t come at me with answers

That can only come from me,

Don’t tell me how my grief will pass,

That I will soon be free.

Don’t stand in pious judgment

Of bonds I must untie,

Don’t tell me how to suffer,

And don’t tell me how to cry.

My life is filled with selfishness,

My pain is all I see

But I need you, I need your love,

Unconditionally.

Accept me in my ups and downs,

I need someone to share,

Just hold my hand and let me cry,

And say “My friend I care.”

- By Joanetta Hendel